You’ve Got Mail/ Sleepless in Seattle

2o’clk

Do you ever think, Meg Ryan and Tom hanks, thought we’d be good together? Or were they such good actors, that it was all truly faked between them? The idea that you can look into someone eyes and just say, “I love you.” And never mean a word of it is truly heartbreaking to me. That there will be a time in my life when a man will say those words to me and it won’t mean a thing.

Not that I’ve never had my heartbroken by a lover. Family and Friends have done that countless of time to the point of tears. Sometimes it felt if my soul was just this milky pool of cloudy water easily stirred by others.

When I was younger, I couldn’t hide the tears or the pain. I’d cry to my heart exploded, not understanding that I wasn’t some broken pipe. Towards my teen years I hid the pain so we’ll that I started to get lost in all the masks I was wearing. Till one day, I stood before my maker and he looked at me. Not the fifteen people I could pretend to be but the young woman under all those masks.

Have you ever been touched so gentle that for a moment in your life it, ALL makes sense? I think that’s what happened to me. God opened my eyes to so much around me that I knew. Well, I guess, I’ve always known that I was worth being myself even if no one wanted to see that. But for the first time such a deep hole in my heart was filled and till this day it’s filled.

Maybe its all make believe and switches to the world. But it’s the whisper of a purpose to my soul and me.

I love you, soul mate, and purpose. Distant but not strange words to anyone or me in this world. I’ve told many people in my family I love them along with friends that truly mean something to me. I’ve talked about my belief on soul mates and that every body only gets one but we all have multiple chances at love here on earth. And purpose is just something we all search for in this world. To belong somewhere or with someone.

If I have to be lied to with the first man I ever truly love with those words. All I ask is, when you take my first kiss, or my first I love you, or my first I do, even my first time. Please, don’t take these things for granted; I’ve saved each of those things for a lot of years for my soul mate.

Goodmorning

“Be the light” ~ Matt, 5:14